#hanging out with them pretending to have fun is too socially draining on christmas too 3 hours of playing games and stuff

[girlivealwaysbean]

i have done everything to make myself as tired as possible so i can sleep as soon as my head hits the pillow but im wide awake😭

[secretlittlerandezvous]

Explanations - Matthew Tkachuk

Summary: Y/n is an actress and the press likes to share rumors about her. One day Matthew sees pictures of her, and some other guy and he decides that making her jealous is the best way to deal with things.

Note: Requested by my love and written with love for my @star-gazing-game 💘

Words: 2150

Nothing was going right. Ever since Matthew woke up in the morning troubles seemed to follow him everywhere. He spilled hot coffee all over himself, burned his hand while preparing his breakfast, forgot his hockey gear on the way to the ice rink and when he returned home for it, he got stuck in traffic. Y/n was coming home after a few weeks of living in New York and he was strangely nervous about it though he had no reason to worry. Things were great between them; he was crazy for her and it seemed like she was crazy for him as well. But he felt like he needed to do something special to welcome her home but didn’t know what. She didn’t even like surprises.

When he returned home, this time hopefully for good he decided it’d be for his best to just sit down and watch tv and do nothing. He wasn’t the type to sit around and be lazy but from time to time he needed a break and he certainly deserved some rest after the morning’s events.

“Actress Y/n L/n was spotted out and about in New York and it sparked some exciting news,” Matthew immediately turned up the volume of the tv when he heard his girlfriend’s name and with excitement watched the news. “Y/n was spotted with her co-worker and they seemed to be pretty close. The actress hinted a relationship a few weeks ago and ever since then, the fans wanted to know who the lucky and mysterious guy was. Well, they look pretty good together what do you think guys?”

Matthew stared at the screen in shock, the color drained from his face, he had trouble breathing and he felt heartbreaking pain as he scanned the pictures carefully. There she was, Y/n, his girlfriend and her co-worker happily walking around the streets of New York, hand in hand and smiling widely at each other. In one picture it seemed like he leaned down to kiss her cheek but to protect himself Matthew decided the guy probably just whispered something into her ear. Matthew was doing his best to stay calm and not to panic, surely there was an explanation to this situation, and he wanted to believe they were just close friends and nothing more. But the harder he tried the more doubts and questions came to his mind and after a while he found himself questioning every moment from their meeting to this crushing moment.

Y/n and Matthew met almost four months ago during a Christmas event in Calgary, a common friend introduced them, and they hit it off right away. It wasn’t love at first sight, but they found each other familiar as if they met before. They shared common interests and the same opinions on dozens of different things, he made her feel safe and calm which was new for her because whenever she was seeing someone she became a nervous wreck and she could never relax and she made Matthew laugh like no other girl before. Matthew asked Y/n to be his girlfriend just two weeks after they met, and she jumped around his neck and kissed him hundreds of times before she said yes. Quite nervously she then asked Matthew if they could keep their relationship private for a while. Y/n wanted the media to focus on her new movies and not on her love life and she was worried that once the media would found out about it they would do their absolute best to dig up some dirt on both of them. Matthew understood her reasons and he agreed. Y/n was relieved he was so understanding, and Matthew was glad because he himself wanted to keep it lowkey to avoid unnecessary drama.

But now he saw things in a completely different light. What if he was just a distraction, a replacement, and someone to have fun with when she was in Canada and her real boyfriend was waiting for her in the states? What if she wanted to keep their relationship a secret so she could have fun with anyone without being caught? He wanted to call her and confront her, send her the pictures, and ask for an explanation and at the same time, he wanted to pretend she didn’t exist and forget about her.

That evening Matthew decided to have a good time. If she could hang out with other men, he certainly could do the same. It was Friday, they had no game and the boys gladly accepted his invitation to go to a club. He had various reasons to go there. The main one was to make Y/n jealous. He knew there was a high chance of pictures and videos of him having fun with other girls would appear across social media. Another reason was to drown his sorrows in alcohol and another one was to have at least a little bit of fun that day. The music was sensual and loud, the club was crowded to the absolute maximum and as soon as the girls found out he was a hockey player they were all over him. Exactly what he needed.

Especially one girl caught his eyes. A girl with golden skin that glowed in the neon lights, her brown curly hair framed her face nicely and her eyes were full of lust and she shamelessly flirted with him and hinted a few times she was available if he was interested. With each sip of his drink, he got closer to her until she was pressed against his body completely and they danced like one person. He liked it and to his horror, he enjoyed every move, every touch, and every smile she gave him. She was tempting him, and he had a hard time resisting her. And maybe because she noticed something was holding him back or maybe she was just tired of waiting she grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulled him down closer to her, and eagerly kissed him. He didn’t kiss her back at first, but she didn’t stop, and he soon wrapped his hands around her neck and kissed her back.

“Finally,” she murmured against his mouth with a satisfied smile and continued kissing him until he pulled away and took a few steps back. “What?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry this was a mistake.” He hoped she would forgive him because he didn’t like it when someone was angry at him, but it was too late. She was already angry and mostly disappointed she wasn’t going home with him.

Matthew said goodbye to the boys, called a taxi, and wanted to get home as fast as possible. He couldn’t wait to go to bed and forget about the whole day. The next day Y/n would arrive, she would explain the pictures to him, and they would continue in their relationship as if nothing happened.

The following morning Y/n arrived in Calgary, called, and texted Matthew a million times but he wasn’t responding. The plan was to go to his apartment immediately but after she learned about his last night’s affair, she wasn’t sure she wanted to see him. The curiosity however won, and she decided to go to his place and demand a reasonable explanation for his actions. Her whole body hurt, her hands were shaking, and she had a hard time holding the tears back. Y/n was on the plane, on her way to Calgary when she opened Snapchat and saw stories from one of his teammates. At first, she laughed at Matt’s silly dance moves, but the smile quickly disappeared when she saw the video of Matthew and some girl dancing body on body. Y/n was willing to forgive him for the dancing, but it was the heated kiss she couldn’t ignore. The kiss that broke her heart.

“Y/n?” Matthew was surprised when he opened the door and found her standing there. Sad and tired. He himself just woke up, his head hurt badly and the regrets of last night were taking over him slowly but surely. “Oh my - I’m sorry I completely forgot. Come in.”

She didn’t even look at him and with doubts entered his apartment. The welcome was cold. Y/n imagined there would be music playing, a breakfast waiting for her, and most importantly she couldn’t wait to see his open arms and hug him. “Care to explain this?” She said loudly with all seriousness and showed Matthew the video of him and the girl.

Matthew’s face got even paler, he felt sicker than before and he couldn’t believe he did it last night. But then he remembered the reason he did it and decided to fight back because he wasn’t going to let her yell at him when she wasn’t innocent. “I’ll explain it but first you should explain this me this?” He said and reached for his phone and showed her the pictures that haunted him. “Maybe this is the real reason you wanted to keep our relationship a secret?”

“Oh god,” Y/n laughed. “Seriously? And you believe this? We did a movie together for God’s sake! These pictures are from a scene, the last scene we shot. The paparazzi sold them to the media as hot news, as if they caught us in real life which is utter bullshit!”

“Really?” He asked but it was more from the relief that she most likely wasn’t cheating on him.

“Yes, yes really!” She yelled. “I can’t believe you believed it! And that you thought I would do this to you! And you didn’t even have the guts to ask me about it.”

“Y/n, baby I’m sorry alright? I am. I panicked, I was jealous, and I acted like a complete asshole.” He admitted. “I wanted to make you jealous, but I never meant to take it this far I swear. I pulled away from her because I quickly realized it was a mistake and I rushed home.”

She was angry and hurt but too tired and very happy to be finally with him that she couldn’t help but forgave him almost right away. Y/n knew him, she knew he acted foolishly whenever something bothered him, and she could tell he truly regretted it.

“Alright,” she nodded and then rested her head on his chest, wrapped her hands tightly around him, and looked at him with love and no anger. Y/n wasn’t going to lose him, especially not because of some rumors and the press or because of some random girl in a club.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered once again and kissed her forehead. His hand found hers and they intertwined their fingers and squeezed them tightly.

He kissed her once more this time on her lips, just a gentle and loving kiss before he pulled her into his lap so she sat on him and he pressed his head against her shoulder, hiding in the corner of her neck and shoulder and pressing gently kissed on her soft skin. Y/n let out a deep breath and released all emotions at once and she finally relaxed and threw all her problems away. His heart was beating faster, and she felt butterflies in her stomach and they both felt relieved to be finally in each other’s arms. Y/n could never hold a grudge against someone for too long, but she knew Matthew didn’t deserve such quick forgiveness. But what was he supposed to do? She was too happy to be with him and she understood his feelings but he still should’ve asked her instead of chasing girls at a club to make her jealous. Matthew sensed the confusion and he was ready to do whatever it would take to deserve the forgiveness.

“What can I do baby?” He whispered.

Y/n shook her head in response because she didn’t have enough strength to talk. Matthew stroked her hair and held her close to him worried she would leave him.

“I promise I didn’t want to take it this far,” he started explaining. “I wanted to have some fun, but this was not supposed to happen.”

“I know,” she whispered and smiled at him.

“You’re the most precious person I know, and I hate that I did this to you,” he said with a hope she would melt under his words. “And I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

His hand then cupped her face, stroked the soft skin of her cheek making her look him in the eyes so she would know he was being honest and in the next moment he leaned closer and kissed her. Y/n truly melted under his words and mostly under his touch and she decided that all the love she felt for him was stronger than her hurt ego and she could always deal with it later. But that day she allowed herself to be happy and to enjoy being back with her loving boyfriend.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, im-better-than-chocolate!

For @im-better-than-chocolate. You mentioned that you liked college AUs, angst with a happy ending, and big coming out moments that shock everyone. I hope this qualifies, and that you like it!!

Read On AO3

*****

Kiss Me (Take Me By Surprise)

Alec Lightwood didn’t like parties or big social gatherings, as a rule. He preferred to stay in and watch a movie or read a book rather than embarrass himself or drink until he collapsed with his classmates, even on Christmas.

“Come on, Alec, loosen up a little!” Isabelle called, slinging an arm around his shoulder. She was holding a plastic cup full of alcohol in one hand and Simon’s wrist in the other one.

“I’ll pass,” Alec muttered, shrugging her off and sending her back to her equally plastered boyfriend, who smiled goofily at her and helped keep her upright with one hand around her waist. Alec smiled a little to himself. For as much as he hated his little sister having a boyfriend in the first place, Simon was a good choice.

“It’s Christmas,” Jace complained from beside them, his hand on Clary’s hip. The redhead in question was giggling madly, swaying in place. Alec rolled his eyes. He hated drunk girls, even his friends. And drunk boys, for that matter - even his brother.

“Technically, it’s not,” Alec pointed out. “It’s the night before Christmas break.”

Jace rolled his eyes, letting out a loud, overdramatic groan. “Someday we’re going to teach you how to have fun, grandma.” He squeezed Clary’s hip and led them away to sit on one of Magnus’s loveseats. Jace pecked his drunk girlfriend on the cheek, and Alec pretended to gag. He was glad that Jace had finally found someone he loved, but sometimes the two of them were almost disgustingly sweet.

Alec looked around and spotted Magnus by their dorm Christmas tree, sipping some sort of alcohol - Alec didn’t have the patience to figure out what, exactly - and humming along to the Christmas music blaring from the speakers. He was wearing a gold-and-black outfit (because he wanted to “break tradition” and wear something other than red, white, or green) complete with glitter and a lattice of gold necklaces draped across his chest. His cheeks had a rosy flush to them, and Alec thought his eyes seemed even brighter than usual, almost downright luminous. He smiled and made his way over to his roommate of two years, best friend of three. Finally, someone at this godforsaken party that he could stand to be around.

“Having fun?” Magnus asked when he saw Alec approaching.

Alec grimaced a little. “You know I’m not.”

“Yeah, I do,” Magnus replied. “But maybe we can change that.”

Alec’s eyebrows drew together with confusion and he gave Magnus a baffled look. “What do you mean?”

“How long has it been since you kissed someone?”

Alec blushed, startled by Magnus’s sudden question. “I, uh, w-why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s been way too long for me, and I thought maybe we could both kiss someone tonight,” Magnus suggested, an impish smile on his lips. His brown eyes seemed to sparkle under the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. Alec inhaled sharply. Was Magnus really asking him what he thought he was asking him?

Magnus gestured to the mistletoe hanging from the tree next to them. “It is tradition, after all.”

Alec rolled his eyes and tried to hide the way his heart raced at Magnus’s proposition. “It’s a stupid tradition.”

Magnus’s face fell. “You don’t want to?”

“No, no, I mean yes, I mean - ” Alec stumbled over his words, his cheeks flaming pink. “Yes, I, uh, I do want to. But maybe not while you’re under the influence?”

“I’m not drunk,” Magnus reassured him, and held out his cup for Alec to inspect. “See? There’s at least ¾ of that left. I’m about as sober as one can be at these parties without being you, Alexander.”

Alec hesitated, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “But you - ”

“There is a difference between drinking and drunk,” Magnus continued. “I promise you, I am fully aware of what I’m doing. I’m not drunk.” He leaned in close to whisper conspiratorially in Alec’s ear, a playful smirk on his lips. “But everyone else is. Which means...?”

“They won’t remember this in the morning,” Alec finished, realisation dawning on him.

“Precisely,” Magnus purred.

Alec blushed and looked away. “You, you really want to...do that with me?”

“Yes,” Magnus answered immediately. “And it’s okay to say it, Alexander,” he teased. “Go ahead. Say it. Kiss me.”

“I, okay,” Alec breathed. He stepped closer, into Magnus’s space, and leaned forward until he could rest his hands on Magnus’s hips. “Magnus, will you kiss me?”

“Of course, Alexander.”

As Magnus’s lips met his and sparks exploded behind Alec’s eyes, he couldn’t help but think that he might be convinced to start liking parties if this happened at each one.

~ ~ ~

“Alexander, is that you?”

Alec winced guiltily and let the door fall shut behind him. “Yeah,” he called back, hoping his tone of voice wouldn’t give him away. He wanted to get settled first, try to think of a way to explain this to Magnus where he didn’t end up sounding like a jerk or a coward or, worse, both. His hopes were dashed, however, when Magnus emerged from their shared bedroom and regarded him with an expectant sort of eagerness.

Magnus’s smile disappeared when he saw the look on Alec’s face. He walked towards Alec until he was just close enough to wrap his arms around him. “They didn’t take it well?”

Alec closed his eyes, fighting back the urge to cry. “They, uh, they didn’t take it at all,” he mumbled. “I didn’t tell them.”

Magnus drew away from Alec, his eyes guarded. “I thought we agreed you would tell them tonight.”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry,” Alec rushed out. “I-I just, they were all having so much fun, and I couldn’t work it into conversation, and I-I’m sorry, Magnus.”

“Stop making excuses,” Magnus snapped, and his chocolate brown eyes filled with tears. “You didn’t tell them because you didn’t want to tell them, Alexander.” He looked immeasurably hurt, and Alec didn’t know what to do or say to soothe away his pain when he was the one who’d caused it.

“I’m sorry,” Alec offered helplessly. His own hazel eyes burned with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus sighed, and with that action, all of the anger drained out of him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be pushing you like this. I know how hard it is to come out.”

Alec shifted awkwardly, still feeling guilty. “I just don’t want to lose them.”

“I understand,” Magnus said. He was avoiding Alec’s eyes. “They’re your siblings.”

“And you’re my boyfriend,” Alec said softly. “I shouldn’t be putting you in second place.”

“It’s okay,” Magnus reassured him immediately, but the words rang empty and hollow in the space between them. Alec swallowed hard. He had to fix this.

“No, it isn’t,” he said, and a few of the tears from before spilled over. Alec choked on a little sob. He didn’t know what to do. He knew, he knew, that they had long since passed the time when most couples came out, and he knew that was his fault. Magnus made a soft noise in the back of his throat and wiped Alec’s tears away with the pad of his thumb.

“Alexander, I never want to pressure you into coming out,” Magnus said softly, reaching for Alec’s hand and tangling their fingers together. “But I refuse to be just a fling to you. I will not be a, a fuck buddy or someone that you love in private and never tell your family about. I will not be your dirty secret, Alec.” Tears were sliding down his cheeks, but his voice was firm.

“Are-Are you breaking up with me?” Alec whispered, hardly daring to breathe.

“Is, is that what you want?” Magnus’s voice shook.

“No!” Alec exclaimed. “No, god, Magnus, never.”

“Okay.” Magnus exhaled with relief. “Good. That’s, that’s good.”

“So you’re not breaking up with me, then?” Alec ventured carefully. He unconsciously squeezed Magnus’s hand tighter. Even the thought of it made him want to sob uncontrollably. They couldn’t break up. He loved Magnus, wanted him, needed him in his life. Alec didn’t know what he would do without Magnus. They’d come so far, and now Alec couldn’t imagine who he would be without Magnus by his side.

“No, I am not breaking up with you,” Magnus reassured him. He sidled closer and placed a soft, barely-there kiss to Alec’s lips. “I love you way too much to ever do that.”

Alec exhaled with relief. “Thank god. I love you, too.” He turned his head just enough so that he could bury his face in Magnus’s shoulder. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d be just fine,” Magnus said, combing his fingers through Alec’s messy black hair. Alec made a sound of protest against Magnus’s shoulder, and Magnus shushed him gently. “So where do we go from here?”

“I’m going to come out,” Alec reassured his boyfriend of thirteen months. “I promise. I just need some time.”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know.” Alec pressed himself closer to Magnus, sniffing a little. “I’m scared.”

Magnus felt his heart break at those words, and he held Alec to him as tightly as he could. “I know you are, darling. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“I know.” Alec took a deep breath and pulled away from Magnus, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand and giving his boyfriend a brave smile. “I’ll do it at graduation.” When Magnus didn’t respond, Alec hurried on: “That’ll give me a few months to plan how I want to do it, what I’ll say, and everything else that comes in between.” He inhaled shakily. “With any luck, I’ll be valedictorian, and I can tell everyone then.”

“The whole school?” Magnus asked incredulously. “Alexander, are you sure?”

“Go big or go home,” Alec grinned at Magnus. “Aren’t you always saying that?”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “This isn’t quite what I meant, darling.”

Alec chuckled and leaned forward to place a soft kiss to Magnus’s lips. “Graduation. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Alexander.”

~ ~ ~

The words of the Dean floated in and out of Alec’s mind without really clicking, and his voice became a low, background sound. Alec took a deep breath, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans. He could do this. He could. He had to.

Magnus picked at a thread on his gown in the audience, watching Alec closely. He was looking more and more nervous with each passing second, and only Magnus knew that he wasn’t just nervous for his valedictorian speech.

Magnus bit his lip, hard, to stave off the sudden onslaught of tears that threatened. Alec wasn’t going to do it. He was going to bail. It was too much, not the right time, a bad idea, something. It was always something. Magnus knew he was being irrational, petty, even, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt more and more like a dirty secret, just somebody to pass the time, with each day that went by with them hiding their relationship from the outside world. Did Alec even really care for him? Or was all this a lie, and Magnus was just a way for Alec to blow off some steam after finals?

Magnus dug his nails into his palms, cursing himself internally. He wasn’t being fair. Still, his breath caught in his throat as the Dean finished his speech and handed the microphone to Alec. He swallowed hard. This was it. The moment of truth. Time to see what, or rather who, Alec cared about more.

Alec felt like he’d been handed the cure for cancer when the Dean gave him the mic; it was great, of course, but he had no idea what to do with it. He found himself wishing desperately that he’d taken Magnus’s advice about using notecards. This was going to be a disaster.

Alec cleared his throat loudly, wincing when the feedback made his mic whine. He took a deep, steadying breath and found Magnus in the audience. He could do this. He was going to do this.

“Uh, hi,” Alec began, and a few of the audience members snickered. He saw Magnus turn around and glare at them, and Alec’s lips quirked upward into an almost-but-not-quite smile. “I’m Alec Lightwood, your valedictorian, as I’m sure you all already know.”

There were a few murmurs of agreement, and he heard Jace yell, “Get on with it!” Alec grinned and watched in his peripheral vision as Izzy elbowed him, hard, making him yelp.

“This year has been...a lot for so many of us, myself included,” Alec continued, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking too badly. “But, just as I hope you all had people there to help you, I had people who helped me.” He smiled at Jace and Izzy, who stopped bickering long enough to smile back at him. “My siblings, my friends, and my teachers all kept me afloat this year. I’m forever grateful to them for helping me get to where I am right now.”

He paused to take a breath, his grip on the mic tightening. “I never thought I’d be standing here, valedictorian certificate in my hand.” He smiled at the audience. “This is honestly a dream come true.”

Alec paused and looked out at Magnus. This was it.

“And though I have a lot of people to thank for that, there’s one person who has been there for me through it all, one person who has seen the half-insane, sleep-deprived version of me cramming for a final, one person who has endured all of my rants and proofread all of my essays, and he is the reason that I’m standing here today.”

Alec took a deep breath and fought to calm his racing heart. He could do this.

“That person is my - ” Alec choked on the word ‘boyfriend’ and stopped, searching for Magnus in the crowd. When he found him, tears began to pool in Alec’s eyes. Magnus looked devastated, betrayed, even. Above all, the disappointment on his face was impossible to conceal.

Alec swallowed hard. No. That was enough. That was enough! He was tired of lying and hiding and pretending and hurting the people he loved. He was so damn tired of this. Alec cleared his throat and lifted the microphone once again.

“That person is my roommate and best friend, Magnus Bane. If Magnus would please come up here with me, I would like to specially thank him for everything he’s done for me.”

The audience cheered and clapped, and Magnus, looking rightfully confused, was ushered out of his seat and pushed towards the stage.

Alec watched his progression raptly, his breath catching at the sight of Magnus in his blue graduation gown. He looked just as beautiful as that first night, illuminated by the fluorescent lighting of the recital hall instead of the twinkling lights of their dormitory Christmas tree. His hair was gelled into spikes and he’d applied blue highlights for the graduation. Glitter dusted his cheekbones and his eyes, usually a soft, kind brown, seemed to flash gold underneath the brilliant lighting of the stage. Midnight blue painted fingernails gripped the railing as he walked up, and Alec felt an overwhelming urge to cry. He was so beautiful. Magnus was so beautiful, and he had chosen Alec.

When Magnus reached him, Alec raised the mic to his lips once more and said: “Magnus is my best friend, my closest confidante, the one person who has been there for me through all of the ups and downs, and he means the world to me. He helped me figure out who I am and when I needed him the most, he was always right where I expected him to be. He’s given so much to me, and it’s about time I give something back to him.” Alec let the mic fall from his fingers and clatter to the stage floor. He turned to face Magnus, emotion building in his chest, and he knew what he had to do.

“What are you doing?” Magnus hissed.

“The right thing,” Alec replied. “What I should have done a long time ago.” With that, Alec dragged Magnus towards him by the sleeves of his graduation gown and kissed him, full and hard and unashamed.

The audience didn’t gasp or exclaim, at least not right away, like they always did in all of those teen movies, but their surprise was certainly palpable enough. Alec grinned against Magnus’s lips, still kissing him. Magnus tasted as wonderful and breathtaking as he had that first time over a year ago, and Alec was hit with an overwhelming sense of pride, of joy, of rightness. He knew then that, no matter how everyone reacted, he’d made the right choice.

By the time Alec and Magnus broke apart, the crowd was no longer silent. There were cheers and whoops, shouting and various exclamations of surprise. Alec smirked. No one had expected the valedictorian to be gay. No one had expected Alec to be Magnus’s choice. No one had expected this.

People were rushing onstage, ignoring the shouts of the Dean to remain seated and calm, and Alec spied Jace & Izzy among them. He exchanged a glance with Magnus, and Magnus nodded, waving him away. “Go. Talk to your siblings.” Alec shot him a grateful look and winked once before disappearing into the crowd.

Magnus watched him go, his lips twisted into a grin. He was really going to have to stop underestimating Alexander, it seemed. His boyfriend was absolutely full of surprises.